For anyone that knows me, you know that I am obsessed with musicals. Usually ones I’ve seen. Except this time, If/Then has been playing nonstop on my phone, and I have never seen it. There is this one song in particular, “Some Other Me,” that is just so beautiful. But because I’ve never seen the show, I really have no idea what the character is talking about. Basically, there are multiple paths the character can take in life (like most of us). In this song, she sings about all the other selves she could have been: “Some other me is homeless / some other me is queen / some other me has seen things that no other me has seen.”
Okay, so we got it? It’s beautiful and poetic and everything good.
Elizabeth, the character, is thirty nine years old and sings about all the change happening in her life, which, directly parallels to my experience as a twentysomething. Change, change, dramatic transition, more change, etc. Hearing her sing about it as a 39-year-old makes me depressed about my future…will it always be this way?!! Let’s hope not.
Lately, I’ve been feeling very much in a crossroads. May is ringing close with bells of graduation and I have no freaking idea what I want to do with my life.
During my first year of college, I had a friend say to me once, “I can either see myself living in Manhattan with a high-class job and going to see Broadway shows every week or living in a country in the developing world, volunteering and serving others, with no material possessions whatsoever.”
My response? You’re an idiot. That doesn’t even make sense.
OKAY. Well, it makes sense to me now. So, I apologize about my harsh judgement from six years ago.
It makes sense because I think to all of us, there is “some other me.” Right now, I’m working in higher education and I work with college students and I’m a grad student. But some other me is working full-time at Starbucks in New York City and playing guitar on a street corner and endlessly working to try and publish the latest draft of my book. Some other me is living in Europe, going to the fresh open markets every week, walking through the city districts in my tailored suit to get to my office on time. Some other me is happy in all areas of my life.
And despite all those grown-ass adults telling me “it’s completely normal to hate your job,” I refuse to believe it. I absolutely refuse to believe it until I am an old withered man who has to drag myself to and from an office every day. Disclaimer, I don’t hate my job. I just think there might be a better fit for me out there in the world somewhere. People who think it’s “normal” to “hate their job” are people who have settled, and I won’t give up hope.
It’s easy to focus on the negative aspects of life, but I like to think that I am an optimistic person and try to stay as positive as possible. However, is it so wrong to think that some other me might not have to try so hard to find those positive aspects of my life?
Maybe the grass really is greener. Or maybe it’s dry dirt painted in a vibrant shade of life. Either way, there’s something to be said about trying and finding out for yourself…isn’t there?