Happy Sunday, friends! And Happy Mother’s Day!
This Sunday, I want to share a special gratitude for all of the women in my life, mothers and non-mothers included. There are so many women in my life that have impacted who I am today, I don’t think I could list all of them. There are friends, family members, co-workers…really, in all aspects of my life there have been important women who have shaped me and played a monumental part of my life.
In particular, I always think of the Family Trio: my grandmother, my mother, and my sister. They are the three strongest women I know. But for most of my life, I’ve really only seen them in their identity in relation to me – the grandmother, the mother, and the sister. I know that they are people who live their own lives, but those titles are the ones in which they have impacted me the most.
My grandmother has always been a source of support and humor. She is a woman with strong values and a persistence of teaching them to others. She was also a single mother of six children. I’ve only ever seen the big picture – how much strength that must have taken. But I never thought about the days when she must have been tired as fuck and didn’t want to cook dinner. Or when she was annoyed by a co-worker, or wanted to go out with a friend after work but couldn’t because she was a new mother. I give her so much credit for dealing with all of it and coming through on the other side with a positive sense of humor. She was the grandmother who would shout, “MAKE SURE YOU WRAP IT!” any time one of the grandkids told her they had a new boyfriend or girlfriend. We used to hide her teeth, which always gave us such a kick. You can always hear her muttering, “Oh balls…” every time something goes wrong, like when she is out of peanut butter for her 3am sandwiches or when she loses at cards.
My mother has always been my biggest supporter. She taught me about unconditional love. She was 24 years old when she became a mom. Writing this blog as 27 years old, I can’t imagine having a three-year-old child. Her life was completely changed when she became a mother (hopefully for the better), but I know it wasn’t always easy. When she was over fifty, she was the lead decider in starting a new business adventure with my dad. And although now, four years later, it’s incredibly successful, I can only imagine the amount of anxiety and fear she held because of that decision, for fear of failure and risk, that she hid from her kids as a way to protect us. She loves her coffee in the morning (don’t talk to her before it) and her long naps after work. She is also someone who knows what is right, and has not only taught me the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong, but has shown me in her way of living every day. She’s also shown me the importance of friendship, and how rewarding life-long friendships can be.
And then my sister, my best friend. After seeing so many other sibling relationships throughout my life, I feel so fortunate to call my sister my friend. For a while, she was always just my baby sister. But over the past few years, I’ve seen the woman that she has become, and I couldn’t be more proud. I’m still a self-declared stage mom, cheering her on with any role she takes on in life. She is twenty-one now and will be a senior in college next year! She has taught me so much about life (and about Ru Paul’s Drag Race). She knows more about the world at twenty-one than I probably ever will. She’s a fierce social justice advocate in her daily life, treating all people with respect and always keeping an open mind. I love that I can text her literally any time about anything, and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve texted her to see if I could call her because something was on my mind. She is always available to listen and I love her for that.
On top of everything else, two of my best friends from college are currently expecting, and I couldn’t be more excited for them (and to meet their little ones soon)! Part of me still thinks that having a baby is an unrealistic thought for me. I joke, “I’m 27 years old, and I can barely take care of myself!” But deep down, I know that’s not true. I know that I am responsible, respectful, fun, and have enough wisdom to impart on a little one, some day.
But in the meantime, to all the current mothers and women in my life, and especially to my grandmother (Nanny Fine), my mother (My Lady), and my sister (Candle), Happy Mother’s Day!