Learning to Dance in the Changes

This past week has been the harshest round of adulting yet. If I have to give anyone any advice, here it is:

  • Never move again. Ever.
  • Become a nomad and travel the world forever.

Here’s why I am sending this advice.

Moving is literally one of the most stressful things I have ever encountered. Especially in a new city, and especially moving without a car. And it’s not just moving from Place A to Place B. It’s not that simple. Like “woohoo here we go, we’re moving!” Nope, it’s nothing like that. You have to pack up years worth of crap that you never knew you accumulated in the first place, try to squeeze it all into boxes that you know will never fit, load it all up, drive or get to your new place however, and then unload everything, unpack, find a new place for everything….can I be done complaining yet?

Okay, great.

The other piece of advice – become a nomad and travel the world. Because that way, you barely have any belongings, and you never have to pack a day in your life!

So, okay. The nomad thing probably isn’t that realistic. But you get the point – packing, moving, etc. is stressful as hell. I’ve also had to think about buying furniture for the first time ever.

But here’s the thing about moving…hopefully, you are moving to pursue something new. A new job, a new school, a new love, a new life. Regardless of what the purpose is, a new chapter is about to ensue. A new page. A clean slate. A new beginning. And that is the piece that will lift you up, carry you through, and keep you moving forward. Because with every decision in life, there are push factors, and there are pull factors. 

For example, leaving Buffalo, there were a good number of push factors. These are the things that make you want to leave your current situation. And this doesn’t have to be a physical move either. It could be a job ending (yup), not finding your community (mhm), or graduation (check). In Buffalo, there were a lot of push factors. I had come for a very specific reason (to receive my master’s degree). And once I did that, I was done, and it was time to leave. Buffalo was pushing me out.

But now, I am feeling so many pull factors towards New York City. These are the reasons why you want to go someplace new. I have so many friends here, the job already seems like such a good fit, and it’s just…it’s the greatest city in the world!!

Maybe I’m biased because I just graduated, my job just ended, etc., but I feel like this time of year brings about so much transition and change, which, can be a bit unsettling for a lot of my twentysomething friends, and definitely a bit unsettling for myself. But, I’ve learned the only real way to conquer that feeling is to just truly embrace it. It’s like the rain. When you are walking in the pouring rain without an umbrella and four blocks to go, you can either duck under an awning and try to avoid it, still get wet, and watch time pass you by, or you could throw on a smile and dance in the rain.

And now, here I am – in NYC, in a rainstorm – feeling all the pull factors, in an apartment full of boxes, unpacked bags, and unfurnished rooms. But you know what…I couldn’t be happier.


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