Do you remember when you were a small child, playing House with your siblings or group of friends or maybe even your stuffed animals? It was my favorite game growing up. I had it all figured out – my little six year old self. I was married (to a woman), I had four kids, two dogs, was a famous chef, and my favorite color was blue. I was set.
But damn, how wrong I was about everything my future would be.
Being a twentysomething is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my entire life. And I know that sounds dramatic, but for all my other twentysomething friends out there, you know that’s the actual truth…right? A very wise professor told me earlier this week, as I was venting/complaining/crying in her office, that the twenties are the shit years. That’s it. The shit years, she said, just like that.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had some really amazing experiences so far in my twenties. I really have discovered a deeper sense of myself, although, I’m coming to realize that that is an everlasting journey. And yet, at least in recent times, there is absolutely no stability in my life. At all. It could also be the fact that I’m graduating. But right now, I feel as if everything in my life is unstable, about to undergo a major transition. I’m graduating, aka losing my job (and have yet to find a new one). Not only that, but I have no idea what I want to do “when I grow up.” I’m trying to emotionally prepare myself for leaving so many amazing friends that I didn’t even realize I had in Buffalo until recently. It’s just…a lot. Everything is changing – relationships, friendships, jobs, location, school, my purpose, my path…and surprise! I have absolutely no control over any of it.
So, what do you do when you feel like your life is spiraling out of control?
- Just breathe
- I’m not kidding. This really helps. Take a deep breath for 4 counts, hold for 2, and then release the breath. Now repeat. Repeat again. I’ve been doing this a lot lately, because to be honest, I’ve needed it. Taking deep breaths centers you, and brings you back to your core. Everything else might be up in the air, but I still have breath, and having that reminder brings me back.
- Do what you need to do, so you can do what you want to do
- You know what? I hate transcribing interviews. But if I want to graduate, I have to do it. And you want to know what else? The job search is incredibly stressful, but I need to apply to jobs so I can actually do something with my life after graduation. It sucks, and that’s okay, but some things, you just can’t avoid.
- Take time for yourself today, so you can be your best self tomorrow
- AKA, instead of going out with friends, buy yourself $50 worth of wine on a Friday night, stay in, drink, clean your room, and sleep. Hypothetically speaking, of course. And I can’t take credit for this one. A good friend of mine gave me this little nugget of advice. In other words, do what you need to do to take care of yourself today, right now, when you need it, so that way, you can be your best self for others, later.
- Trust the universe.
- This is my new favorite saying lately. I apologize, I feel like it’s been in the past twenty blog posts I’ve written, and I say it at least five times a day. But really, trust in the universe, and the universe will give back. Others choose to pray. I choose to trust in the universe. It’s the idea of karma. Send good vibes out, and good vibes will be returned.
And although it was much easier as a six year old playing House, it is (kind of) exciting to be actually living a real life now, no matter how stressful it may be.